tech gossip? in 2022? well i never

Tech Industry Gossip September 2022

madness lies herein

vc ego

we reached a new point of criticality in VC1 ego broadcasting.

imagine being so smart you never have to acknowledge anything in the world exists unless you created it yourself. what a world.

“i don’t feel obligated to use that term because i’m so smart i thought of it first but somebody else got the credit in cultural knowledge” — big wernstrom from futurama energy
“they meant something quite different by it” — comic book guy called and wants his fragile ego UM ACKSHULLYisms back

bonus self colongazing

who needs external motivation or experience or knowledge when you alone have created the sum total of human knowledge from your own force of will alone?

we respect independent thinkers having the exact same opinions we already have

they have been on a huge “ANTI CANCEL CULTRE” binge over the past year or two, but also they themselves have strictly enforced for the past 15 years “if you go against us, we will cut you out of all future economic growth prospects forever”

want to be hated online? dare to say anything about masks or air quality anywhere.

twitter has spent 10+ years refusing to address their massive bad-faith bot problem, so now there are automated bot armies and human-run bot pile-on armies for everything from global international politics down to electing local street cleaners.


turns out buying a $100 million house doesn’t actually mean you’re successful

corporatist class traitors

there’s always one in a crowd

sure society says you should die if you aren’t employed, so obviously employers have no obligation to help you

render this

draw me a river

yc actually stands for “yes, casual fraud everywhere”

every YC IPO or DL has been a scam to dump losers onto public markets and nobody stops them

inflation? i do’nt even know tion!

we are so happy to continue subsidizing your excessive monopoly profits while our service costs 10x more than anywhere else in the world

aws recruiter or 419 scam? you decide

“we would love to work with you! just run through our 18 hour, 6 week long interview process and then get rejected 8 times…”

crapto dapto rapto smapto

low information tech people + money-as-god == mega delusion
do you even do on chain, bro
got ’toes?
when can we arrest vcs for crimes against humanity

siri iris


HCI? UI? UX? Nah, let’s just create unlimited lists of everything

remember when Apple was the golbal leader in user interfaces and seamless human-computer interactions? we may never get back there ever again (at the current rate, when Tim retires, his replacement will also be another apple bro who has worked there for 30 years, so it’s likely Apple won’t have “new leadership blood” until like 2050, when in reality we need them focusing on actual usability and fraud issues impacting a bilion users every day right now, but they just don’t care)

crypto == supercomputer of course you dolt stop being so web 1.0

i think this happens when people read “infinite crypto-maxing” whitepapers then extrapolate into future boil-the-oceans or dyson-sphere-the-universe levels of scalability without ever having written even 6 lines of a python script themselves, but sure, they declare they alone know the true future of everything. also they always make vague references to “decentralization” being the only way to live because society must be destroyed or something.

anti-work-from-home extroverted egoists say the world must live in offices to keep them—and them alone—happy

sure, you go work in the office alone, but you can’t drag everybody with you. if you want work to be a private daycare circus for your personal unresolved never-satiated ego, then go build your own cult to worship you instead?

M is for Must Never Say “Mask” Online

a modern phenom: if you say “mask” on twitter, thousands of people to show up and say you’re dumb
we shall call them “cloth-triggered snowflakes”

the issue with console commands

it turns out the issue with console commands is the console is bad — clearly not a personal failing of your own knolwedge and education and background to get things working! Let’s outlaw private computation so we’re all required to pay amazon $5/minute for CPU time forever!

nice writeup

just a writeup of how FLAC encoding works. nice to see it.

software writing should be illegal, says software developer

if nobody writes the tools, then how will you ever import libraries so you don’t have to pay developers for the unlimited reusable software they create? also a common view: it’s “below us” as APPLICATION DEVELOPERS to write tools and utilities and scalable components because ONLY REACT AND JAVASCRIPT MATTERS, so if you write ANYTHING ELSE you are WASTING YOUR LIFE because ONLY UI IS PROFIT

weird christian cult twitter botnet using GAN faces

notice the account creation date on this one and the next one
you can tell public novice AI-generated faces because they always center exactly on the nose (and also generally show no emotion and never have any real background or interactive things in frame)
sure, perfectly legitimate real people; this is what all the modern AI engines are using for their training data too, what a world

you doth offend mine culture!


reminder: never say ‘coder’ — ‘coding’ is what secretaries do for medical paperwork

“For me walking is not a love story. It can be fun but it mostly takes absurd amounts of time.” — we use our brains to literally create the future of the planet, so sure go waste your life dancing or drinking or something else not-coding while other people who actually know what they’re doing end up ruling the world for the next billion years

this week in “developers have no idea what servers or datacenters actually are”

orange site developers: TAXATION IS THEFT! NO TAXES! NO SERVICES! BOOTSTRAPS!; also developers: sure, why not pay aws 10,000% markup on bandwidth and 500% markup on compute for our entire company for the rest of time? hardware is impossible to understand so only the annointed god-class can ever put a computer “online!”

did you know github invented software

reject modernity; return to perl

more like Open JerkAI right

turns out letting your company be run by undereducated billionaires doesn’t end up aligning with reality

did you know CEOs have no power?

so if you aren’t a founder-ceo, you actually don’t have any control of your company! the orange site is so wise. also the weird idea “CEOs are required by law to make the most money using all unethical and illegal means possible or else they will be jailed” never seems to go away.
cults of personality within cults of capitalism within cults of corpocracy. under this logic, “shareholders” could sue you if you ever take a vacation or if you leave work 10 minutes early or if you take a long lunch or if you ever hit the snooze button on your alarm because you FAILED TO MAXIMIZE SHAREHOLDER PROFIT

they opine eruditely about how do words even work

email stands for “evidence mail”
lol “bandwidth and emotional valiance” — said like a true socially oblivious online weirdo
“texts do not convey emotion” — sure, okay, go to hell you piece of human garbage winky emoji — and did you know writing on the orange site after 2018 actually disqualifies you from working at thousands of companies having actual hiring standards?

more awful people saying awful things

you can’t actually discern the motives of tech billionaires because they exist in an entirely untouchable memetic 8-dimensional meta-social space
young’uns don’t remember, but when twitter jumped out of its fraud peak and into public celebrity status around 2010-era, the big VC meme was “TWITTER IS THE NEW PROTOCOL OF WEB 2.0” because the VC class had never seen an online forum before where you could write once and many people could read something. there were even YC “requests for startups” to find ways to “exploit the first new protocol on the internet in 20 years”

the way to get ahead is to just have rich parents

in the court discovery against musk, it revealed messages from other billionaires trying to just get their teenage son installed as new twitter CEO because, ’ya know, he has dat good billionaire blood so you don’t have to work for anything, you just get proclaimed king and everything is given to you for free

ai is impossible because they couldn’t do it in 1920

isn’t this like saying “humans will never make flying machines” in 1900? the computational capacity of the world is still growing exponentially by the year, so saying “we can never compute X” is a poor bet to make. yes, the original AI plans from the 1960s was comically childish saying they will make a human replica brain in a computer over the summer, but now we have billionaires spending hundreds of millions of dollars training new models we barely understand in the first place.

intel science nobel prize

reminds me of those high school “intel science talent show” prizes where the winners always go to 15 year olds who have access to their parents security clearance to use some university linear accelerator. sure, meritocracy, we’ll get right on that. there’s nature, there’s nurture, then there’s just outright access to superior equipment nobody else can touch without personal connections.

new c failures

if you try to do C programming with a GUI IDE, you’ve already failed. use vim or don’t use C at all.

if you write C using VSCode, go to jail. forever. also who would ever use bare cc instead of requesting gcc or clang directly? is it 1977 in your head?

also found a post of somebody wanting to rewrite my stock market load balancer in r*st, but don’t do that because r*st is bad, mmmmkay? (and my system is already provably the physically fastest way to implement the mechanic it’s designed to solve, so you’ll just be making it worse translating it to different modalities)

other unfinished ideas

The Installation of Computational Madness

Are we inviting The Festival onto us? Unlimited capacity for creation is equivalent to unlimited capacity for destruction. We create our own means and thusly create our own ends.

Paradox of employment

the most valuable and scalable employees are obligate generalists who can combine business, UI, hardware, and software thinking together, but at the same time it’s impossible to get hired into those roles because companies either micro-deep-test for specialist roles or just don’t realize they are missing this mix of “whole picture applied practicum” roles — counterpoint: it’s why startups exist; because extant companies can’t (or refuse to) measure and compensate individual contributions to growth and scalability based on actual marketshare-valued-impact renumeration.

  1. pg always argues he is “not a VC” because “VC” has public LPs and you know, they just kinda give money to bros, then they just bro out as friends with the goal of privitatizing every public resource on the planet for their own personal profit, but yeah, not a vc bro, and not an incubator — we can’t be described and you can’t understand us so you can never judge us! we are beyond your comprehension you peasant fools!