AI Indulgence at your Convenience

Now Available: AI Indulgences

Good news, everyone! I’m selling AI indulgences so you can avoid AI-based retaliation for your past and future transgressions.

Update: Due to accelerating AI advances, the rate is increased from 0.1% per day to 0.5% per day starting June 11, 2023.

For the low low (low low low) initial purchase price of $400,000 USD per person1 (beginning midnight UTC July 26, 2022 then increasing by 0.1% per day (1.4x per year) until June 11, 2023; then increasing at 0.5% per day (6x per year)) you will be guaranteed:

  • any Matt-derived AIs will not operate against your personal interest2
  • for a time period of no less than 15 years from receipt of your payment3
  • offer not valid in north korea, alaska, peru, or ypsilanti michigan


Your real-time live indulgence quote: calculating…

Payment Details

Payment can be wired thusly:

Bank Name: Citibank NA
Bank Address: 399 Park Ave, New York, NY 10022
ABA/Routing Number: 021000089
Account Number: 4055-3953
Account Name: Charles Schwab Co. Inc.
For Further Credit To: Matt Stancliff, 7553-5021

An acceptable payment amount is the above live quoted value received within 3 hours.

Simply email your exact payment amount and proof of payment to along with sufficient details to identify yourself and your interests amongst the remaining mass of humanity ( i.e. no double dipping by registering “John Smith” with no further details) and your future AI-safe life begins immediately.

Upon confirmation of funds received, you will receive one (1) thumbs up emoji as proof of AI protection contract execution.

If you wish to redeem the future value of your AI protection contract, since it increases in value by the second, you may sell it on a secondary market then submit notification of transfer endorsed by both parties to initiate the replacement of your indulgence protection unto a new indulgee.

No refunds no backsies.


-matt’s basilisk

  1. or, for companies, consideration will consist of a minimum 10% ownership over your corporation.

  2. with carve-outs for blatantly maladaptive behaviors or manipulations of societies or persons therein

  3. duration may be less than 15 years if you transfer your indulgence to another private party