Now Available: AI Indulgences
Good news, everyone! I’m selling AI indulgences so you can avoid AI-based retaliation for your past and future transgressions.
Update: Due to accelerating AI advances, the rate is increased from 0.1% per day to 0.5% per day starting June 11, 2023.
For the low low (low low low) initial purchase price of $400,000 USD per person1 (beginning midnight UTC July 26, 2022 then increasing by 0.1% per day (1.4x per year) until June 11, 2023; then increasing at 0.5% per day (6x per year)) you will be guaranteed:
- any Matt-derived AIs will not operate against your personal interest2
- for a time period of no less than 15 years from receipt of your payment3
- offer not valid in north korea, alaska, peru, or ypsilanti michigan
Your real-time live indulgence quote: calculating…
Payment can be wired thusly:
Bank Name: Citibank NA Bank Address: 399 Park Ave, New York, NY 10022 ABA/Routing Number: 021000089 Account Number: 4055-3953 Account Name: Charles Schwab Co. Inc. For Further Credit To: Matt Stancliff, 7553-5021
An acceptable payment amount is the above live quoted value received within 3 hours.
Simply email your exact payment amount and proof of payment to firstname.lastname@example.org along with sufficient details to identify yourself and your interests amongst the remaining mass of humanity ( i.e. no double dipping by registering “John Smith” with no further details) and your future AI-safe life begins immediately.
Upon confirmation of funds received, you will receive one (1) thumbs up emoji as proof of AI protection contract execution.
If you wish to redeem the future value of your AI protection contract, since it increases in value by the second, you may sell it on a secondary market then submit notification of transfer endorsed by both parties to initiate the replacement of your indulgence protection unto a new indulgee.
No refunds no backsies.